Because of the horrible experience we had adopting our daughter through the state of California, we had all but given up
on the idea of adopting another child.Our roller coaster ride began after several failed attempts of invitro-fertilization. We then registered with a domestic agency and began the usual paperwork. We also had to put together a photo album in hopes that some young mother would see something in us that would make her want to give us her child--would we have the right "look." We were then made to attend grueling parenting classes and told that an "open" adoption (where the birthmother can be in the child's life as much as she chooses) is the best choice for everyone.
After meeting all the agency and state requirements, getting the nursery ready, buying a car seat and clothing, etc. we waited by the phone for "the call." About a year later we were ecstatic when we finally got the call that a beautiful baby girl was waiting for us -- only to be told the next day that the mother had changed her mind!
After three and a half years we had nearly given up. That was when we finally got another call for a little baby girl. Needless to say, we were thrilled but cautious as our daughter, Kaitlin, joined our family on May 14, 2001.
»...if we had heard about EAC earlier we would have skipped the domestic adoption with all of its headaches and went straight to EAC.
We only wanted to move on with our lives and enjoy our new little girl, but it was difficult knowing that the state of California allows a six month waiting period when a birthmother can return and claim "her" child for any reason. Another concern was that from birth Kaitlin had difficulty swallowing and even breathing. She would throw up every bottle and was rapidly losing weight. Several times we took her to a pediatrician only to be told that we were paranoid and that, because I was not her "real" mother, I may not be "in tune" with her needs. We were new parents, but we knew that something was wrong! Finally, after three months, Kaitlin ended up in a hospital with a rare congenital lung malformation. Little was known about her case because at that time there were only seven known cases in the world and none in North America. The nightmare worsened when this lung formation had broken two of her ribs--and we were subsequently turned into Child Protective Services. After waiting three and a half years for this little girl to come into our lives, we now had to be supervised while we watched our baby girl fight for her life. All the while, we frequently had to leave the hospital to build a case to prove our innocence!
Thank goodness, it all ended well. The doctors had to remove a portion of her lung at three months and then another portion at eighteen months. We did prove our "innocence" and Kaitlin is now a normal, vibrant five year old little girl with few restrictions.
Needless to say, after all of that we were never going to adopt in the state of California again, and, maybe, not at all. However, after about three years, we decided that a baby boy would make our family complete. We researched international adoption agencies and then attended an EAC seminar. We were impressed that they had actual adoptive families and their children at the meetings. After talking with the parents, we realized that this could really happen! We applied for a baby boy from Guatemala.
Everyone at EAC was knowledgeable and very helpful. We made it through the paperwork fairly easily, but were wondering if they would be there for us in a foreign land. EAC met us at the airport, stayed with us at the hotel, took us touring and to the markets and grocery store, and went with us to the embassy. It was like a vacation. The best part was that it only took ten months from start to finish, and we have a beautiful baby boy, Gabriel, to make our family complete.
We believe that God had a plan for us to find our baby girl and -- in essence -- save her life. However, if we had heard about EAC earlier we would have skipped the domestic adoption with all of its headaches and went straight to EAC.
Thank you, EAC!
Editor’s Note: This is a worst case scenario of a domestic adoption. My son, Victor, said “Don’t put that in, Mom. Nobody will want to adopt!” But, read on -- there was a happy ending!