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• Attachment and Bonding presented by Jacquie Gailey
The Cycle of Attachment and Bonding
Effects of Institutionalization on Children
Children begin the cycle of
attachment and bonding even in the womb, as they must receive sufficient
nutrition and be free of harmful substances like alcohol and drugs, to
develop properly and be ready to attach at birth. Children who are born
to mother addicted to drugs or alcohol often have immature neurological
system and can be hypersensitive to all stimulation, like touch, which
is important in the early phases of attachment. As a result , their
heightened sensitivity and irritability may set them up for further
abuse and or neglect as caregivers attempt to nurture a baby who is
fussy and upset.
The Bonding Cycle
| In the first 18
months of life, infants learn whether to trust their environment or else
to find that his/her needs will not be met. In what we call the
bonding cycle, children have a need, i.e. hunger, pain, etc. They
become angry and demand that their need be met. When it is met
(gratification), many times over the course of 2 years, they learn to
trust that their caregivers will care for and protect them. This
gratification and trust becomes a foundation for development for life.
When their needs are not consistently met, the bonding cycle is
interrupted, having lifelong implications and causing problems in the
following areas: |
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- Social/behavioral development
- Cognitive development
- Emotional development
- Cause and effect thinking
- Conscience development
- Reciprocal relationships
- Parenting
- Accepting responsibility
Children who have been institutionalized often
experience interruptions in the bonding cycle. Their needs may be met sometimes,
sometimes not; with no predictability, they do no know what will happen the next
time they let out a cry. This causes them to learn to lose their expectations
that their needs will be met and gratify themselves with self soothing methods.
They trust no one besides themselves to gratify their needs and do not learn to
identify with others or to develop compassion, empathy or love. These children
may use methods to gratify themselves like head banging, rocking, sucking on
their hands or pulling their hair. They may appear detached and vacant, desiring
no interactions with others.
Attachment to Caregivers
Consistency in caregiving is also a
vital part of children's learning to trust their environment and their ability
to attach. Children do not necessarily need a parent to attach to, though that
is the ideal. Any caregiver who provides consistent care and gratification of
the child's needs can be an attachment to her. As children learn to predict
their environment and gratification of their needs, even if those needs are not
daily routines and know that a familiar caregiver will give them breakfast.
Children who are moved around from
one institution to another cannot trust on any given day that a caregiver who is
familiar to them will get them dressed or give them their breakfast. They learn
to an even great degree not to trust or love and are unable to attach to anyone,
causing them to be very resistant to attachment later if they are adopted.
Children who experience this
interruption in the bonding cycle, who are unable to attach and who are moved
around in their early life are repeatedly traumatized. For those children who
are adopted, they come into a family that they do not know, who suddenly want to
meet their every need, who hug them and rock them and feed them very predictably
and love them unconditionally. These children have never experienced this and it
scares them and they are very mistrustful of this kind of environment.
If they dare to love their own
parents, or trust that their needs will be met, they are afraid their parents
will leave them or send them somewhere else as this is all they have experienced
in their lives. These children are angry with their parents, and test them
regularly to see if they will leave them. Their behaviors may include:
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Gratification of own needs (food
hoarding, head banging)
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Protecting himself (lying, being
unpleasant to keep people at distance)
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Expressing anger (destructiveness,
cruelty to animals)
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Keeping the fear away (not letting
parents close, rejecting them before they reject him)
Parents adopting children who have
experienced abuse, neglect or institutionalize have a long road ahead of them in
order to love and be loved by their child. With help, love and much patience,
this can be accomplished. Children who experience some degree of predictability
and stability in their lives often have not learned as much distrust of their
environment. If institutions can provide children with stability and
predictability and the same caregivers to form and attachment with, the children
will have a much greater chance of attaching to their adoptive parents and being
healthy well adjusted boys and girls.
Authored by Kristen Buchannan, MSSA, LISW
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