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A First Meeting
Preparing
yourself with your intended adoptive child is filled with
excitement and worry. You really don't know what to expect, and
the infant, toddler, or child doesn't know either.
This
meeting does have some situations that most of our families
have experienced. Allow me to share a few.
The
children are usually brought to a common room. They may never
have been in this room before; the surroundings will be new and
like many children, they may be more interested in their new
environment initially. You will notice that the toddlers
especially will be shy. The babies have rarely seen men. All the
children are accustomed to women caretakers, from the hospital
through the orphanages.
Expect:
Stress:
theirs and yours
Fear:
who are these people I have never seen before
Tears:
theirs and yours
Laughing:
hey, look there's a guy here who want to hold me!
Questioning
looks: theirs and yours
The
touch of your skin will be new to them. The fabric of your
clothes will be different. For moms-to-be, they may reach for an
earring, bracelet, necklace. Dads-to-be: that watch may be
something they reach for first -- before your outstretched
hands!
Your
child may have a skin rash, or maybe a colored ointment on
their face, arms or legs for bug bite treatment. This is a normal
treatment. It is normal for the child to be pale, smaller than you
may have expected, and shaved heads or very short hair. If you
notice a mark on the child's body that you don't have an answer
for, of course you may ask about it through the interpreter, but
please be polite and understanding. The orphanage staff is reading
your facial expressions and hoping that this little one placed in
your arms is going to have all the love in the world!
Infants
don't usually have typical U.S. diapers on them. Toddlers may
have what we think of as mis-matched outfits.
Nothing
can perfectly prepare you for this moment.
Cindy Sundman, RN, BSN |
